I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
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I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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