i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
