piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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