he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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