so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
only you would photoshop your dick
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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