im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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