Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
