used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
