Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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