he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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