Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
