He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
