Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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