The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
