I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
