The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize