State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
