She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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