the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
