Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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