At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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