as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
