Screwed.edu
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
