It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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