okay pat passed out under dana's car
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
