no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
