All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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