the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
