just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
