You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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