the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
