Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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