its not stalking. its research.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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