he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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