You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just had sex on a roof
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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