but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize