bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize