Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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