we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
