They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
