I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
