no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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