oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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