I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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