i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
