yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
