WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
