Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
