i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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