I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
