I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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