Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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