you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
