Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize