you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
