oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
