He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
19 Of The Most Epic â€œI Quitâ€™ Stories Ever
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW