White coat. Heels.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i can juggle bunnies
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.