never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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