Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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  (440): He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim http://tfl.nu/dc24
  Replies (24) Good night (765) Bad night (7671)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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  (+27): I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake. (+27): I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better. http://tfl.nu/rfir
  Replies (39) Good night (4275) Bad night (1621)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

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  (647): Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/v8v7
  Replies (7) Good night (4668) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1345) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair

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  (603): Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair http://tfl.nu/7ypz
  Replies (36) Good night (4716) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy

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  (479): I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy http://tfl.nu/jx3n
  Replies (8) Good night (2061) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.

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  (780): I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night. http://tfl.nu/oi63
  Replies (7) Good night (2707) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now

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  (207): It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now http://tfl.nu/zpim
  Replies (18) Good night (2222) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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  (414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua
  Replies (2) Good night (1379) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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  (760): I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME http://tfl.nu/7g5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots

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  (519): I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots http://tfl.nu/46f2
  Replies (17) Good night (2087) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say

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  (416): She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say http://tfl.nu/mu9a
  Replies (13) Good night (545) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/4zf0
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.

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  (613): hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me. http://tfl.nu/dgyw
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION

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  (610): IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION http://tfl.nu/utlo
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (349)

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