I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
