I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm always down for nudity.
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