i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
