You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
