apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
