I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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