I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
