So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
