when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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