I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
