i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
