haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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